


the sea and the stars

by amurusk



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: third years as second years, unofficial second part of Raspberry Boat Runaway
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-16
Updated: 2016-06-16
Packaged: 2018-07-15 08:35:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,509
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7215277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/amurusk/pseuds/amurusk
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A lone seashell pressed against his back. The biggest waves attempted to catch his feet. The sand felt soft under his bare feet and it was going to leave an imprint on his arms stretched out on the empty beach. The weight of his phone on his chest was a comforting weight, slight but it felt like it was anchoring him to this moment. Like it was the only thing keeping him from just taking a boat and running somewhere far away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	the sea and the stars

**Author's Note:**

> _For Daniel, who is never going to see this. Do you promise me?_
> 
> This is pre-relationship, with only a subtle hint at anything more than friends.

The sea was quiet again, just like the year before.

Only slight waves and blinking green lights broke the calm mirror surface. The wind had left the small beach untouched and the stars filled the black sky, seeming close enough to touch but when you actually tried to reach them, you understood you were light years away from them.

The phone was lying on his chest as he laid in the soft sand, the screen downwards and the white earbuds connected him to the calming music. The music flowed out of the buds loud enough to fill his world with only it, but quiet enough to stay as a mystery to others. If someone wanted to find out what he was listening to it, they would have to ask him.

But there was no one to ask him about his music. In this private moment, there was only music, stars and Koushi.

It wasn’t anything new. He actually usually liked it, being alone with the stars and music. Music was a way to calm down and pretend like he wasn’t drowning in the feeling of overwhelming loneliness. Koushi had the habit of finding a quiet place in the middle of the mess of non-stop noise and the people too busy for him to keep up.

People were like stars to Koushi. He knew where they were and what they were like, but when he tried to reach out for them, they were always too far away. People always seem like they were close to him and comforted him, but then he would realize how far away they actually were. How they were so beautiful and untouchable.

The beach sand pressed against his back and tangled itself into his hair, only slightly warm anymore. The sun had set long ago, giving way to the moon and it’s stars.

A lone seashell pressed against his back. The biggest waves attempted to catch his feet. The sand felt soft under his bare feet and it was going to leave an imprint on his arms stretched out on the empty beach. The weight of his phone on his chest was a comforting weight, slight but it felt like it was anchoring him to this moment. Like it was the only thing keeping him from just taking a boat and running somewhere far away. 

The night was peaceful, but for some reason, Koushi couldn't shake off the feeling of wanting someone else than a singer in a song share it with him. He wanted someone else to remember how the sand felt under them, how the sky seemed so big and endless, how the music changed the meaning of everything.

Koushi closed his eyes and pretended not to be alone.

* * *

What felt like a blink of an eye, Koushi opened his sleepy eyes to the feeling of a hand on his shoulder and he found a familiar figure hovering above him.

The music was still flowing into his ears from his short playlist and the sand next to his hand felt only slightly cooler than before, so it must not have been long since Koushi closed his eyes.

Pulling the earbuds from his ears, Koushi pushed himself into a sitting position and turned to the boy sitting crosslegged next to where his head was previously. Koushi followed his example and crossed his legs, rubbing his sleepy eyes.

“Not at the balcony this time?”

Koushi laughed and placed his hands behind him, leaning into them and craning his neck to look up to the sky.

“Nah, too crowded. I think Noya is trying to do something with fireworks.”

“What?!” Daichi exclaimed, looking absolutely horrified. His mouth was slightly open and his dark eyes appromaxily the size of three teacups.

Breaking into laughter, Koushi pushed himself slightly forward to punch Daichi’s shoulder playfully. “I’m kidding, relax.”

Daichi rubbed his shoulder in mock pain and mumbled something about seeing Koushi as a boxer in future instead of a setter. Koushi smiled and turned his eyes back at the sky again, hair moving sand in his eyes in result. _Ow, fuck, that hurt._

It was quiet, comfortable and soft if Koushi had to describe it, and the aching loneliness eased slightly it’s grip on his heart. Being around Daichi usually helped Koushi forget how sad he was, sometimes even more than good songs. Around other people Koushi felt like he was faking happiness and energy, but around Daichi he could slightly crack the gates of his walls.

Daichi had been in Koushi’s life only a little over a year, but he had managed to make himself cozy standing next to Koushi. Even though they didn’t text much or hangout much outside practice and school, they were truly close and knew secrets about the other.

Koushi knew Daichi wasn’t comfortable in his home and felt like his mother didn’t support his choice to use any free time to anything but studying. He knew that the Sawamura’s almost never came to their matches, even though his little siblings wanted to see their big brother playing. He knew how Daichi would have to fight down the urge to call his aunt on her ignorance and hate when she came over, but couldn’t since he didn’t feel safe enough in his own home to do so.

In change Daichi knew how Koushi had some trouble keeping himself together from time to time. He knew how Koushi would stay up the nights just to study or because he couldn’t due to stress. He knew how much Koushi missed his father who had had to move out of country for medical reasons and felt bad every time he forgot to call his father. He knew how Koushi had gone more than four times 36 hours straight without eating or sleeping, because Koushi felt like he didn’t have time for anything but school, home and volleyball.

“So, what you thinking about? You’re only alone anymore when you feel sad.”

Koushi smiled slightly, amused by the fact he thought he could hide anything from Daichi. Sighing, Koushi laid back on the sand, his neck hurting from craning it for too long. _I need to talk to someone._

“I- I can’t do this anymore.”

“Do what?” the worry and confusion was as clear as the stars above them in Daichi’s voice. 

“Anything really. I feel like everything in my life is crumbling and I only have tape to try and keep everything together when I need a glue gun. I feel like I’m not living for myself anymore, that I’m living for the volleyball club and good grades and for other people. I try to stay positive, but it’s starting to get more and more difficult to get out of bed. I’m always tried because I can’t sleep more than six hour or I won't let myself go to sleep because I don’t want the next day to come and I feel really unhealthy even if I’m in the club. I keep putting everyone else before me, and I want to stop but I don’t know how. I need someone to stop me, somehow.”

Koushi let out a shaky breath, the pressure in his throat making it difficult to say another word. He closed his eyes and rubbed the heels of his palms against his eyes, feeling more vulnerable than before. Yeah, he’d told Daichi before that he felt like he was under pressure a lot, but never told how much or how often. Koushi felt raw and he hadn’t even told that much.

A warm hand landed on Koushi’s shoulder and Daichi carefully picked his words, “I- um, I don’t know if this will help but I’ve noticed you’ve been absent-minded lately.”

Sighing in relief, Koushi somehow found comfort in the fact that someone had noticed that something was off. He let his hands fall back into the sand and looked into the stars.

“You know, I envy you,” Daichi said out of the blue and made Koushi look at him in shock, “You’re always so positive and have energy, but you also always ask others if they’re okay. Now that you said that, it seems that I shouldn’t be because of the price you pay. Suga, you can’t put others always in front of you.”

Daichi sighed and laid next to Koushi, suffering a little to get more comfortable and tentatively took Koushi’s hand in his.

“To be honest, I don’t know how you feel and I won’t pretend that I do. I don’t want to lie to you, but I hope you know I’m here. Have you talked about this with your mom?”

Koushi nodded and squeezed Daichi’s hand hesitantly, “Yeah... She, uh, she tries to help but I don’t think she really understood what I meant. But Daichi, thanks, really.”

They looked at each other, Koushi smiling and the loneliness in his chest a bit lighter. He took the earbuds and gave one to Daichi, who put it in his left ear, starting the playlist again and let the music wash them away.


End file.
